Get Out of Your Head, Move Into Grace
prasarita paddotansana | wide legged forward fold
the concept:
Self study (or in Sanksrit Svadhyaya) is the practice and cultivation of an awareness that takes us above and beyond how we attach to ourselves so that we can, well, study ourselves. All with the purpose and intention of creating genuine, right understanding.
We turn inward consciously as if to watch ourselves and each part of ourselves from a higher vantage point, an observation deck of sorts, where we (and our experiences) become a matter of study and contemplation. From this vantage point we can imagine ourselves as explorers of ourselves and explorers of this life with a sense of awareness that picks up enriching and enlightening details. Imagine having another set of eyes that you were able to see within yourself and outside of yourself with. What kinds of actions, movements, feelings, thoughts could we potentially notice and learn from? Each experience we have is real grounds for connecting pieces of all the different parts of our intricately designed minds, bodies and their connection to far more, if not literally everything else. It is believed that through becoming more attuned with oneself, we gain a higher sense of Self - the Universe within ourselves, giving us all the information from experience over time and a reflective mirror to partake in our learning more deeply.
The concept of self study is, to me, a practice of getting out of my head. The mind, the space of over-thought, over-analysis. The space of judgement, conditioned ideas learned from outside of the body and from somewhere outside of one’s inner voice, all of the formed pathways and chatter that projects into our bodies and into how we interact with and relate to our outer world. The mental processes that take over the pure awareness of what is happening in the present experience and we often mistake for awareness itself.
In the words of the incredible Eckhart Tolle:
Behind the sometimes seemingly random or even chaotic succession of events in our lives as well as in the world lies concealed the unfolding of a higher order and a purpose. This is beautifully expressed in the Zen saying “The snow falls, each flake in its appropriate place.” We can never understand this higher order through thinking about it because whatever we think about is content; whereas, the higher order emanates from the formless realm of consciousness, from universal intelligence. But we can glimpse at it, and more than that, align ourselves with it, which means be conscious participants in the unfolding of that higher purpose.
Knowing yourself deeply has nothing to do with whatever ideas are floating around in your mind. Knowing yourself is to be rooted in Being, instead of lost in your mind.
- excerpts from A New Earth
Yoga takes us on a journey to and through ourselves, from ego to human inner experience to deep spiritual Self discovery.
In my regular, off-the-mat life, I practice this concept in a number of ways. Two major practices I partake in almost every day are: journaling and another form of yoga practice - meditation.
Since I was a young girl, journaling has been a more active source of taking time to see what is inside by pouring it out. Though journaling can be challenging (especially as a new practice or after a long break away from it), it allows us to unpack what is inside while allowing us to see what is unpacked from a different space and with space so that we can slowly learn from the literal notes that we are taking about who we are and how we are perceiving things. The ability to treat ourselves differently, move differently, find and create possibilities for ourselves because of the understanding we gain of who we are elevates us and continuously offers us up to something, anything higher than before. And journaling is one example of taking from what is within, seeing, getting out of that space and moving into one where we are capable of gaining insight.
In short, meditation is a technique that gives us the opportunity be in a different way than usual and sets a quieter inner-environment that changes the dynamic for how we experience what exists inside. Meditation has been an on-and-off practice of mine for about a decade. A practice that changes every day but has deepened and accelerated the carving of the path in all things personal, spiritual and in healing. We learn to sit with ourselves and whatever it is that’s going on within. Sitting with ourselves without performing, doing, or acting on the things we find. This is no easy undertaking and requires a lot of patience, compassion, and practice. Much like journaling and honestly any other method that draws us closer to who, what and how we are. The idea of getting out of our heads and moving into Grace are a challenge when it also means facing what’s in our heads and elsewhere. Perhaps you know this and understand the real but highly intentional struggle in this work. But we have the capacity to move beyond the idea. With each sit we get above the idea and into a space that is absorbing and connecting all the information, all the goodness, which will become skilled, equipped guides who see a bit more clearly and with a little bit more love for who we are.
There are countless ways to study ourselves and practice this yogic concept. It is a philosophy, a way of not only thinking but also a way of believing. That belief is the integrated ingredient in this life, which we willingly incorporate on an experimental basis. I believe the very act of living guides us to the always ultimate learning. As we go through life we experience and through these experiences the knowledge is collected. But beyond that is the significant element of connection and co-participation that we look to strengthen through techniques that get us to put ourselves in front of a metaphorical (or maybe real, physical) mirror and work both our ability to be as objective as we are subjective with ourselves.
By making ourselves the case of study, we open the lens and broaden the perspective. I think of this as taking ourselves out of the position of “the doer” and becoming more like a witness. By becoming a witness to ourselves we expand what we see and what is going on with more fullness. The gain in that experience is in formulating the understanding that transforms our experiences from knowledge to wisdom as we skillfully and intimately weld our human experience with our spiritual one. The “doer” is like the seat of a driver whose only objective is to get the vehicle from one place to another with all energy and awareness on the path itself. The witness is like the more leisurely passenger who, though on the same path, doesn’t have the same worries as the driver about the path itself, but can see all around the path and take in far more of the journey.
We direct a lot of our energy in this yoga practice to continuously raising our awareness to bring ourselves closer to the spiritual source in all things- Consciousness (Chit in Sanskrit), which we refer to as Spirit or Grace. The reason being that this is our True Nature, the very Nature we are intent on remembering and feeling the connection to when we study all of the other concepts that essentially lead us back to this. In our practice, self-study helps us move into Grace by teaching us to connect to our pure sense of awareness, the source within ourselves and all things so that we may learn from ourselves, about ourselves, and so that we can make connections that paint a bigger picture than the often zoomed in or out-of-focus one we tend to have.
What a powerful ability, to consciously make ourselves the subject of study from which to form an understanding of- without projecting our own thoughts, judgements, pre-conceived notions or pre-experienced emotions. Imagine being able to have a lot of the answers to questions we seek? We can reflect on and learn from patterns within ourselves and patterns that we see as we watch over our experiences with care and openness. Over time we find ourselves experiencing so many things that feel or look similar to others and “going with the flow” can turn to “ignorant bliss”. This is yoga and this practice of self-study is an effort to go with the flow, but consciously and full-heartedly. We are far more knowledgeable than we think and house so much unique and valuable experience waiting to serve a higher purpose. This is the practice.
on the mat | asana:
This week we turn our gaze inward as we open to a way of being that is maybe bigger or seemingly outside of ourselves and imagine that we are watching over ourselves in asana. We are practicing observation, using our very own eyes as tools to connect to our alignment on the outside of the pose and then mimicing that idea of how our eyes work on the inside to give our attention deeply to the deeper, detailed principles of alignment so that we can hopefully make conscious connections in other more advanced shapes.
Alignment is an element of the practice that can often feel rudimentary or so subtle in detail that both can be overlooked or forgotten. Focusing on this offers us the opportunity to connect with the inherent wisdom of the body and from it gain an understanding that deepens our relationship with ourselves and to the yoga practice.