Growth + Transformation | the process
I wrote out some thoughts I was having in December and wanted to place them in the journal for us to look back on when the words are needed again and maybe again after that, and until whenever:
I haven’t felt this connected to myself + my outer world in almost a month. [And I know that things move and ebb and flow continuously, so this too will pass and I will likely disconnect in some way again.]
And it’s got me thinking. Feeling. Formulating. And wondering.
Because, well, this happens. This happens to everyone. And this happens to everyone all the time.
The feeling of
Disconnection.
Disjointedness.
Having fallen off of something and landed somewhere that’s similar to where you feel you are normally, but is really different and full of conflict, discomfort, uncertainty, maybe even helplessness or powerlessness.
Out of practice. Less in your body. A little strange and dissimilar.
Wanting to reconnect and knowing why “it isn’t working” when you do. Staying in practice but feeling it less.
Less an ebb, but maybe more the product of the ebb when we maybe forget to stay more conscious during it. Or perhaps the product of the ebb because prior to it, the flows you’ve been blessed with have left you in such a high state that triggered even the slightest of notions that “you did it”, and so the auto-pilot kicked in.
And so the body and the mind and the energy swimming around inside of you catch ther ebb but you are less grounded. And then there’s conflict: unrest, strange, disjointed things you notice but can’t pin.
Conflicted with your choices. Less present in your actions. Less connected to your inner body changing patterns and cycles and reacting to each tiny thing that is off or inviting you back to a previous state in which it did not thrive.
But Nature, the Universe, always has a way of communicating to and with you- until you not only hear, but you listen and begin to pay closer attention. Until you see.
[How does it do this?]
The body disagrees. It messages irregularity, inconsistency, pain, discomfort, illness. Your outer world becomes less pleasant, less where you want to be until you notice and begin to question how you got there and why.
In a more positive light, maybe you start to feel inspired to read something, try something new, change one simple thing to another simple but different thing.
Maybe that happens right away or maybe it’s days, weeks, months or years before a pattern, a groove you are stuck in, a samskara you have been digging into [whether that be consciously or subconsciously] even becomes noticed. And then there is time between noticing and finding the will to do things differently. And again more time between will and action in practice.
In and through that time there is growth and transformation. Small ways being paved and sometimes greater jump and leaps ahead along the path wehre things deepen, connect and feel & look more crystal clear than ever.
When the connection is clear-
Not to be confused with the highs that come in life-
When you get those moments where you feel at home, in union, in peace with yourself and your outer world, it’s worth noting as well as celebrating. It is worth understanding and writing down somewhere. It is worth sitting with and embracing. It is worth sharing. And then it is worth remembering.
That we continue to embrace and awaken our consciousness to heighten our reality and find a more magical connection with ourselves and each other- that’s the practice and process of curing the divide, disjointedness, inner and outer conflict, and periods of disconnection in as much a way as possible.
That we stay tuned in to the always live and in real-time, present moment. As it is always the answer. Even if the answer doesn’t come to more realized fruition for some time.
These are our reminders to trust and continue.
These are our reminders that we have been given the unique gift of being embodied.
Reminders that come not-so often but serves as it’s own blissful gift in the day-to-day reality. And the same unique gift we all share. The same gift that you reading this also have.
Whatever it is that you do to connect with yourself-to listen, to see, to feel, to understand rather than know, make time for- it’s all working.
And if the connection is informing you that what is working is not agreeable- there is more and the Universe is all yours.